|That is me. Especially the hat.|
Over the weekend, I went to Ruralist Ontario and partied with the Cousins. Blonde is my first cousin, Talk is his wife and their son, who is my age, is Dude. Oh yeah guys, I'm hopelessly imaginative.
Anyway, I was hanging out there for their annual fair and parade. I didn't attend the fair because I hate rides, can't eat hardly any candy because of the diabetes and there aren't any great vendors. Maybe I'll go back in a couple of years when I don't have a heart attack on the thought of spending twenty dollars on an ashtray, or twelve dollars and four cheap bracelets that have the names and flags of randoms countries painted on them. Oh wait, I did do that.
On the visit, I did go to the parade. I didn't run for candy (competing against four-year-olds? No thank you, I like my fingers), but joked and laughed with Big and Dad while we sat on the side.
But the real reason we when to Ruralist (I'd give you the actual name, but it really is a very small town) is because Dad wanted to get a little drunk and Big wanted to get wasted. We are definitely not an alcoholic family. Ha!
Big danced the night away as I slowly drank my four coolers. After sleeping for about six hours, Dad made us wake up and we walked around Ruralist. It was filled with vacationers and Mennonites and fair people. We stopped at a museum to take pictures of my great-grandmother's homemade diaromas of bunk houses and tiny villages, stopped at the tattoo parlour, the used book shop and finally some yard sales. Big picked up: a tin can to store money, four white bowls with little handles for cottage cheese, two tin ashtrays, a box of an assortment of glasses, a pair of vintage skates and a globe that still has the Soviet Union and Czechoslovakia. What a thrifter!
So really, the point off this whole goddamn story is that at the yard sales, I saw this heavy plastic bust of Chopin. I kept staring and holding it, and I really REALLY wanted it, but I don't know who Chopin is so I couldn't buy it because you know people would ask who Chopin is and I would have to reply, "Uh, he's this dude, who wrote music...?" So I have decided to get at least four busts of people, preferably Roman or Greek gods and goddesses.
|Like Marcus Aurelis here, who was a Roman emperor.|
|There is this cool gut with a turban. He's pretty cool.|
|There's also this French chick with a very aggressive nipple.|
I also found one who looked like Elvis, one I thought looked like Stephen Harper and one with creepy hollow white eyes that made me pause because he had a really cool feather on his hat. Here's my list for the other shit I want in my house/place. From the first two items, you can tell I'm being realistic.
Things I Want in My House
A pool table
A flat screen tv
A regular tv for the office
A dvd player for the living room and office
Three bedrooms (one for me, one for an office and one for a spare room)
A living room big enough for a sectional
A washing machine and a dryer
A marble counter
Lots of windows
A grass backyard for a clothes line and to play croquet
A desktop computer for the office
A bathroom with a large bathtub
No shared driveway
A small garage (negotiable)
Lots of counter space
Lots of cupboards
No stairs outside house (negotiable)
A green fridge
Several plants that I will not have to water/care for
Closet in bedroom
Closet in front of house
A front door, a back door and an escape hatch
A couple of marble busts
P.S. My f button isn't working great, so sorry if I'm missing some. And yeah, I have that list saved on my computer, because I'm cool like that.