Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Over the Weekend

That is me. Especially the hat.

  Over the weekend, I went to Ruralist Ontario and partied with the Cousins. Blonde is my first cousin, Talk is his wife and their son, who is my age, is Dude. Oh yeah guys, I'm hopelessly imaginative. 
  Anyway, I was hanging out there for their annual fair and parade. I didn't attend the fair because I hate rides, can't eat hardly any candy because of the diabetes and there aren't any great vendors. Maybe I'll go back in a couple of years when I don't have a heart attack on the thought of spending twenty dollars on an ashtray, or twelve dollars and four cheap bracelets that have the names and flags of randoms countries painted on them. Oh wait, I did do that. 
  On the visit, I did go to the parade. I didn't run for candy (competing against four-year-olds? No thank you, I like my fingers), but joked and laughed with Big and Dad while we sat on the side. 
  But the real reason we when to Ruralist (I'd give you the actual name, but it really is a very small town) is because Dad wanted to get a little drunk and Big wanted to get wasted. We are definitely not an alcoholic family. Ha!
  Big danced the night away as I slowly drank my four coolers. After sleeping for about six hours, Dad made us wake up and we walked around Ruralist. It was filled with vacationers and Mennonites and fair people. We stopped at a museum to take pictures of my great-grandmother's homemade diaromas of bunk houses and tiny villages, stopped at the tattoo parlour, the used book shop and finally some yard sales. Big picked up: a tin can to store money, four white bowls with little handles for cottage cheese, two tin ashtrays, a box of an assortment of glasses, a pair of vintage skates and a globe that still has the Soviet Union and Czechoslovakia. What a thrifter!
   So really, the point off this whole goddamn story is that at the yard sales, I saw this heavy plastic bust of Chopin. I kept staring and holding it, and I really REALLY wanted it, but I don't know who Chopin is so I couldn't buy it because you know people would ask who Chopin is and I would have to reply, "Uh, he's this dude, who wrote music...?" So I have decided to get at least four busts of people, preferably Roman or Greek gods and goddesses.    

Like Marcus Aurelis here, who was a Roman emperor. 

There is this cool gut with a turban. He's pretty cool.

There's also this French chick with a very aggressive nipple.
I also found one who looked like Elvis, one I thought looked like Stephen Harper and one with creepy hollow white eyes that made me pause because he had a really cool feather on his hat. Here's my list for the other shit I want in my house/place. From the first two items, you can tell I'm being realistic. 

Things I Want in My House
A jukebox
A pool table
A flat screen tv
A regular tv for the office
A dvd player for the living room and office
Three bedrooms (one for me, one for an office and one for a spare room)
A living room big enough for a sectional
Nice bookcases
A washing machine and a dryer
A marble counter
Lots of windows
A grass backyard for a clothes line and to play croquet
A desktop computer for the office
A bathroom with a large bathtub
No carpets
No shared driveway
A small garage (negotiable)
Lots of counter space
Lots of cupboards
No stairs outside house (negotiable)
A green fridge
Several plants that I will not have to water/care for
Closet in bedroom
Closet in front of house
A front door, a back door and an escape hatch
A couple of marble busts

P.S. My f button isn't working great, so sorry if I'm missing some. And yeah, I have that list saved on my computer, because I'm cool like that. 

Friday, August 12, 2011

Random Shit

  Oh holy woah! I just discovered an amazing thing. So amazing. It's just freakin fantastic. You can link to a page like this one which is the general page or you can be specific, which I like when you click a link and its for an article that's halfway down the page so you end up not finding it and getting frustrated and you have to go along all confused and shit. So, you can do this amazing, extraordinary thing and be awesome and do this. You would not believe how freaking excited I got over this. I stopped everything I was doing just to show you. How special are you? Huh? Who's special? You are! Sorry, had a puppy moment. 

 I also picked up this fantastic book at my local Chapters. It was only ten bucks instead of the forty it would have been, plus I got an extra ten percent off. It's by the same author who wrote the Time Traveler's Wife and Her Fearful Symmetry. It's a quick read, but I love the pictures and the powerful feeling I got from the book. It's definitely a keeper and probably a read-to-children book, even if it's a little serious. 
  I'm also watching a fucking great tv series. It's so awesome, I don't even want my family members watching it because I don't wanna share. It's funny and serious and I hate her mother cause she's a whiny alcoholic, but other than that, it's great. 

That's Mary and Bobby D in the background. Marshall's gorgeous, but I didn't like the  background of the photos he was in. Heavens I'm picky. 

   Mary is so funny and poor Marshall just loves her and lives with it. It is just so fabulous. I need to find some time to start on the second season. I still have to watch two and three and I can't download the most recent episodes of season four, so I have to wait. Damn. I'm really just trying to spread it out so I don't run out like I did with Sons of Anarchy, like three times. I hate having to wait a whole year for the dvd. Blows big time. 
  Oooh, also made a fab flour-less chocolate cake that blew my mind. And I can make it whenever because a) gluten/wheat free and b) we have all the ingredients almost all the time (the eggs are a maybe, they come and go) And I took a picture of it, because I've been taking pictures of everything to put on the blog and its driving me insane because I see anything AT ALL, I want to photograph it and show you. I share too much. 

I wrote "hello" cause I'm both weird and friendly. Did it with a knife too. So cool. 

Alright, that's it. Go get a life. And watch good tv. And read great books. Oh! and eat chocolate cake. Of course. 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Oh, and, uh, yeah.

   I've been feeling kinda weird in the past few days. I've been lazing around the house, on the computer, watching television and feeling queasy. Currently, Mother and I are watching Will and Grace alongside Stargate SG-1, because obviously we are interesting and full of life. W & G happened because Mother bought one season at a yard sale and we both got hooked. I then ordered the rest of the series at the library. I love my library. We'll go back to that in a minute. 
  Mother owns the entire Stargate franchise (if you don't know what the is, I'm am ashamed for you, and here you go. Yeah, I use Wikipedia. Shut up)It's been about a year since we've watched it, and those were only the later seasons with Vala (I fucking love Vala! She's so awesome.) Mother and I will be doing a marathon, as we did with Buffy earlier this year. Watching Buffy again was so awesome because Big, Bigger, Mother and I watched the early years (Pre-Dawn) about six or seven years ago, so it was great because I couldn't remember some really good episodes from the third and fourth seasons. 
   Side note: I'm watching an episode of Stargate SG-1 (you're surprised, aren't you?) in season 2 called Spirits about exploiting Native Americans, and I'm kinda tired of the nice Indian stereotype). 
   So besides endless marathons, I've been reading the blogs of Lucy March and Jennifer Crusie, and it's tons of fun. March's a Year and Change is interesting, but sometimes it's a little serious, so I go to Crusie's, who's a bit more light hearted and longer with more funny. Crusie also includes snippets from her books, published and unpublished and her journeys with other writers and her collaborators (Eileen Dreyer, Anne Stuart and Bob Mayer, there are more, but I'm not that far in the archives). It's freaking fabulous. 
   I also have to watch the two series, In Plain Sight and Murphy Brown. For Murphy Brown, I'm reading the book, What Would Murphy Brown Do?, a series of essays about feminism and women power in sitcoms. I'm kinda only reading it because I typed Murphy Brown in at the library and the book popped up. 
  I fell queasy because I've been eating gluten, including one dumpling, which tasted delicious but did not feel good an hour later. I also ate about seven bowls of cereal over the last few days that doesn't have an gluten/wheat products in it, but contained oat flour, which is generally contaminated by wheat in the processing plants. Oh, I didn't mention it before? I don't eat gluten because it fucks me up. I don't think I have celiac disease, but I believe I could have an intolerance or allergy. We'll see, with some tests upcoming. 
  Another little medical drama is that I have been clinically diagnosed with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome). Yay! I`m actually quite nice to have a confirmed diagnosis and a solid answer to all the shit that I`ve been going through since I was ten. Although, now I know that it is gonna be difficult for me to concieve and the weight is probably never going to come off, no matter how much I exercise (or I`ll gain it back). But the really serious parts, the heart disease and the diabetes are two risks I`m almost guaranteed to have, especially since I already have diabetes. Yay! Didn't I mention that? Oops. 
   My keyboard is so fucked up, I have to google `question mark`then copy and paste it because my computer is a bilingual bitch. 
   Big is also in the Other Province with Biggest and will be there for another week. It sucks cause I miss her. And what sucks even worse is that Mother told Big on the telephone, so there goes all my cool.   
   And I forgot. My library is so awesome because they buy tons of books I love or get me books from other libraries when they can`t get it. All the librarians love me as well because I go almost every day. Their love is even more fabulous because they usually glare or don`t like all the other people I hang out with, which makes me special. 

“In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you.” Teal`c to Colonel Maybourne. I hate Maybourne, he`s such a fucking asshole.   

I just read this article. It was so funny. Don`t read it if you`re at work or around people you get embarrassed around. 

Tootles. Ha, spell check said that was a word. Score!