Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Tuesday Blues

So today has not been a good day. I woke up way late for school and I felt like a complete failure. Why can't I get my lazy ass out of bed? My day hadn't even started and I felt like crap. I dressed and everything then I went downstairs to see my mom, who usually makes me feel better. To cut to the point, because I could go on and on, I didn't go to school. Although my mom was really calm about it (no punishment, no anger) I was angry with myself. I always feel like a loser on days I stay home and today was no different. Mom, Bigger and I ended up going out, shopping a little and picking up Bigger's boyfriend Stretch to run errands. We stopped at a bunch of places I like, like Value Village where Mom bought me earrings and a bottom for my quilt (which I will post here as I didn't my last one). But all day I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a bad day. We stopped at Big's work and had lunch with her and when she asked why I wasn't at school, I couldn't answer. She said "I care about you, but you won't tell me what's wrong." That's the whole problem, I don't know what's wrong and I don't have the time anymore to figure it out. I want to graduate and have a life, and I can't do that with poor attendance and shitty grades. I have to do better.
When we got back, there was a message on the answering machine that informed me that I had missed my practical exam for Vocal class. I was upset, but I had no right to be. I PURPOSELY skipped school today and I have to deal with the consequences. I missed a day with my friends, most of whom are not coming back next year and who I won't see so much over the summer. I missed seeing the boy I liked, and I made myself nervous about asking him out.

To help me get better, to try to help me have more good days than bad, my mom has an idea about how I can help myself. She wants me to start writing down my activities, so I can see what I'm doing during the day and try to fill my life with more things, better things. She even has goals:

1) Volunteer at a least two places, at least once a week
2) A job search done at least once a week with provided rides
3) Exercise at least once a day, just one activity (with the extra weight and the diabetes, this is big)
4) Spend a little time doing a relaxation activity (her term) such as knitting, reading or quilting etc., but not spend my entire day doing this. I think I may have a few relaxation days during the summer just so I can get some writing done, but her idea sounds good.

So. I have goals. I have ambitious that need time, concentration and energy put into them.
I have things to make, things to say and things to do. I have exams to ace! I have a boy to ask out.

Wish me luck.

P.S. What's up with you? Any plans? Any secrets desires that you want spontaneously to burst forth and fill you with energy and determination? Now I'm curious. Go on. :)

Sunday, June 17, 2012

ABC's of Ashley

Yes, I did steal this meme from her because I don't post enough, and it looked like fun. So here goes.
A. Age: 18. Legal to vote, but I can't drink. Damn Ontario laws!
B. Bed size: King (technically two singles put together, but let's not be choosy)
C. Chore that you hate: Decluttering with my mom. Because she really sucks at decluttering.  
D. Dogs: Does my sister's dog count? Because I think he really should.
E. Essential start to your day: Peeing. Wow, I really have no schedule. Can you guess I'm a teenager? 
F. Favorite color: Purple.
G. Gold or silver: Gold, because it goes really well with my skin tone and I like gold jewellry.
H. Height: 5'7 3/4 (and yes, that 3/4 matters)
I. Instruments that you play: Guitar, violin and flute, though all of them mediocre.
J. Job title: Awesome. Or Student. or Daughter/Sister. But Awesome pretty much covers it.
K. Kids: None. (Cat doesn't count because she hates me)
L. Live: Sudbury. Northern Ontario. Canada.  
M. Mother's name: None of your business. (Lisa, but don't tell anyone!)
N. Nicknames: Ash, Nemo, Marie, Judy.
O. Overnight hospital stays: Tonsil removal (I wonder if there's an official name for this, but I'm too lazy to google it)
P. Pet peeves: People telling me I'm being mean. You think I don't notice? Perhaps I'm being mean for a reason, you idiot. Get away from me before I kick you in the shin 
Q. Quote from a movie: All I can think of is "Truth? you can't handle the truth!" and I've never even seen that movie. Dear god.
R: Right or left handed: Left. There are so many things that I can say about this, but I'll just leave it be. For now
S: Siblings: Three of 'em, none of whom know about this blog so I cannot tell you their names.
T: Travel favorite: Really anywhere that I have to travel in a car for an extended period of time. I just like riding in cars.
U. Underwear: Really, let's not mention it.  
V. Vegetable(s) you hate: Celery, because its stringy and not in a good way like pineapple.
W. What makes you run late: What makes me really late is having control over my schedule. Because I'm honestly the slowest person in the damn world (or at least in my acquaintence) 
X. X-rays you've had: For my teeth. Because I'm crazy like that.
Y. Yummy food that you make: Ah, so many things. Potato salad is my favourite.
Z. Zoo animal: Monkeys. And I have no explaination for this
Ah, aren't you glad you know all this?
And look, this is the post where I revealed my name. Isn't that nice. Did you catch it? Huh, go back, look it over. Ah, there you go

Monday, June 4, 2012

Been Busy

So, it's been around two months since I've posted. BUT! I have been busy with a whole bunch of shit.

I've been.....

I've been doing a lot of knitting. I'm making a blanket. It started as a throw, but man is it growing.

I also went book shopping to expand my empire, I mean, collection

Yeah, I'm a book slut, I know.

The cats are good, thanks for asking. Baby was attacked by a cone, since she had some organs removed so she couldn't have babies. Chopsticks has two pictures because she is freakishly photogenic. I mean, really! Go back and look at her. So cute. Aww!

I've also been making my prom dress. I started yesterday, and prom's on friday. Yeah, I planned ahead, can't you tell?

And I made rice crispies, which by and far is the most important thing here

There. I posted. Now let me get on with my crap.