Bathroom <- this is a horrible title. I'm very sorry

This will be TMI. Just so you know.

I have a very strong relationship with my bathroom. There are positive aspects, like showers and cleaning and fresh towels. I like all that. then they is the other side, the dark side, the one I don't talk about. The toilet wars.

Dun, dun, duh!

I don't eat wheat. No, scratch that, I don't eat wheat, or gluten or anything that has "whe" or malt in it. Except cheese. I eat the hell out of cheese. So, don't eat gluten. this means I don't eat breads or crackers, which would normally provide a large amount of fiber to my diet. So....no fiber. So when I go to the bathroom, that stuff shoots of out me. Unfortunately, that's not the end of this story.

I also eat food that isn't too great for me. for instance, cheese. See my relationship mentioned above? Yeah, I LOVE cheese. I like cheddar, feta, and brie. I like mozzarella, i like soft cheese, and hard cheese and the fake cheese that you buy for nachos and the fake cheese you sprinkle onto your pasta. Me likey cheese. Cheese likes me too. Cheese remains for a long time, if you get my drift. So I can spend a week or two going fiber-lite, with frequent bathroom breaks and all. Then I'll attack some cheese and not go forever. this is what has happened here. Not only do I suffer from eating only the slightest bit of gluten by getting instant bathroom visits (I live out of that bathroom, if you're getting me here) or I can spend the day reading trying to go to the bathroom from an attack of the Cheese. So, 30 degrees outside plus humidity, and I get to hang out in my bathroom trying not to explode and/or cry.

You are very welcome for the visual
Have a great day, and AVOID THE CHEESE.

Dun, dun Duh!!!!

Ha, I'm just kidding. go eat some cheese. Save some for me. I'm getting some feeling back in my legs.

I'm Back!

I was rereading an old draft from back in June (maybe May?) when I received devastating news. It was titled WTF? since I'm very much to the point. Obviously.

"Just one thing, a tiny thing that kinda just shook my brain up.

1) The Pittsburgh Penguins traded Jordan Staal to Carolina. What? What happened? I'm starting to tear a little. This is just? Just, WHY? Why would you do this? How could this happened? I think I'm in shock. And

2) He's now married. What? Why wasn't I informed!? This is angry. That's three out of four Staals married and I'm pissed. What is with these cute guys getting married? Why don't they wait until they're forty then get it over with? Don't they understand the rules? Next thing you know, Sidney Crosby will be getting married.....OMG. Please don't let this happen. I'm venerable enough. I don't need that as well. Oh, Hockey Gods, please don't do this to me!"

I read it, and I go...So? Who cares that he plays for Carolina and is married? BTW, Marc-Andre Fleury also got married this summer, although he's too French for me. But really, all I want is my hockey BACK! I don't care who plays for who, I don't give a shit who's married. I WANT TO WATCH HOCKEY! You got that NHL? You guys are being dicks.

In other news, since I haven't written (wrote? I am not a grammar bug) since June or July, there is a multitude of things that have occurred. First, I got a job. Little convenience store no biggie, good hours not tons of work and good people to work with. Or so I thought..... Apparently, I had been accusing people of stealing and hadn't even known about it. How did I not realize you ask? There's two answers: either I've developed a sever but short case of amnesia, or b) someone has been lying/taking my words out of context. Yes that's three, but shut up. So basically I'm pissed. I don't want to work with two girls you've lied about me and said I accused them of something I would never ever suggest. And my manager won't tell me who they are! So every time I go into work, I'll look at my coworker wondering if she's the one. Did she go and lie to the manager about me? Does she thinks that she's won. I haven't worked since the accusations reached me because I've been sick, but now my manager probably thinks I look weak (especially since I cried because a) this is my first job, b) my first major problem and c) I'd been taking very strong hormone medication to deal with the PCOS. So, yeah, work kinda sucks ass now.
Okay, now the summer is over. It's freezing here, and its the beginning of October. I haven't been to school in a week because I've been sick, but my track record before that wasn't great either. I haven't seen my counsellor in months, since about the end of May and am feeling real low. I'm going to have to get a new one (Damn!) and rehash everything from the past four years. Wow, I hadn't really realized it's been four years. I'm old.
But, I know that I want to get a computer of my own up and running before the end of October. I'm gonna make Big and Big's Boyfriend a quilt for Christmas and I think a medium size pillow/bed for their dog. I have no idea what to get Bigger and her boyfriend, and what I should do for my eldest sis out in Saskatchewan. But I'll figure it out.
I've got one of my stories outlined (Yay! Applause!) and now I have to start writing it. I think I'll change it to third person omniscient and include journal entries from the main character's point of view. This is a big step, since I've had the characters and the setting and the whole world created for years now, but the characters (mainly the protagonist) didn't possess enough flaws to make a good plot, so I couldn't do anything with it. But I fixed that! Yay!

So I think that's all for now. I've been reading Refab with Anne Stuart that's giving me ideas about goals and how to deal with certain things (ie. Anne Stuart is overweight like me and has depression like me) so I'm gonna set some goals for myself as well.

1. Start writing. Even a little
2. If I don't feel like writing fiction, come on the blog and yammer here. No one reads anything, so I'm perfectly safe.
3. Apply for new job.
4. Smaller portion (made a good plan already!) and no eating after nine.
5. Slow down on the books
5. Spend wisely.

Alright, that's it. Everyone have a good day/night and I'll see you soon!

P.S. Did you know that Blogger doesn't recognize Yay? Isn't that sad? Or is that just me?

Tuesday Blues

So today has not been a good day. I woke up way late for school and I felt like a complete failure. Why can't I get my lazy ass out of bed? My day hadn't even started and I felt like crap. I dressed and everything then I went downstairs to see my mom, who usually makes me feel better. To cut to the point, because I could go on and on, I didn't go to school. Although my mom was really calm about it (no punishment, no anger) I was angry with myself. I always feel like a loser on days I stay home and today was no different. Mom, Bigger and I ended up going out, shopping a little and picking up Bigger's boyfriend Stretch to run errands. We stopped at a bunch of places I like, like Value Village where Mom bought me earrings and a bottom for my quilt (which I will post here as I didn't my last one). But all day I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a bad day. We stopped at Big's work and had lunch with her and when she asked why I wasn't at school, I couldn't answer. She said "I care about you, but you won't tell me what's wrong." That's the whole problem, I don't know what's wrong and I don't have the time anymore to figure it out. I want to graduate and have a life, and I can't do that with poor attendance and shitty grades. I have to do better.
     
When we got back, there was a message on the answering machine that informed me that I had missed my practical exam for Vocal class. I was upset, but I had no right to be. I PURPOSELY skipped school today and I have to deal with the consequences. I missed a day with my friends, most of whom are not coming back next year and who I won't see so much over the summer. I missed seeing the boy I liked, and I made myself nervous about asking him out.

To help me get better, to try to help me have more good days than bad, my mom has an idea about how I can help myself. She wants me to start writing down my activities, so I can see what I'm doing during the day and try to fill my life with more things, better things. She even has goals:

1) Volunteer at a least two places, at least once a week
2) A job search done at least once a week with provided rides
3) Exercise at least once a day, just one activity (with the extra weight and the diabetes, this is big)
4) Spend a little time doing a relaxation activity (her term) such as knitting, reading or quilting etc., but not spend my entire day doing this. I think I may have a few relaxation days during the summer just so I can get some writing done, but her idea sounds good.

So. I have goals. I have ambitious that need time, concentration and energy put into them.
I have things to make, things to say and things to do. I have exams to ace! I have a boy to ask out.

Wish me luck.

P.S. What's up with you? Any plans? Any secrets desires that you want spontaneously to burst forth and fill you with energy and determination? Now I'm curious. Go on. :)

I've been thinking (surprise!)....

I have been thinking about my anonymity for about a week now. This blog is a way that I can talk without having to sensor myself as I do in my house and at school. At home, I don’t talk about school because it gets too complicated and I feel as if I should be able to deal with all the stuff at school by myself. It’s a part of my life that’s just mine, that I don’t have to share with anyone else. And the thing is, I’m an intensely private person. At school, I have to force myself to talk to my friends about my life. I’ve never had best friends before so after six years, I still feel like a beginner. So this blog is where I can yammer on about anything, any time I want for as long as I want.

               I wonder whether I should use my real name here. It’s similar to what I want to do when I start writing. Should I use my name, or use a false name or just a false surname? It’s driving me crazy, but I’ll think about it some more later.

               In other news.... Christmas here was uneventful. I don’t say that to be mean, but it stopped being exciting when I stopped asking for toys. Christmas kinda ends when the toys go away. Christmas is also unexciting because I`m jobless so I can`t buy anyone presents which is screwy. I wanted to make people gifts instead, but I don`t know what anyone wanted. I really suck at Christmas. I never know what anyone wants. I`m whining a lot. Let us continue on a different strain now.

               Big moved out. I`m kinda upset because, you know I miss her and shit. But then I`m like, fuck it. Let her live her life and let her be. Fuck her, let`s focus on me. And she`s getting a dog, so I`m so freaking excited.

               Ooh, so I got things to do. I`m going to be cutting out the material for a dress this afternoon and it will be done by the end of the break on the ninth. Ninth doesn`t have an e in it? What is this world coming to!? Or whatever. Other things to do before the break is over is to write a comparison essay about Carol Shields` The Stone Diaries and John Updike`s The Witches of Eastwick.  So excited! Not. I have to read about four books before the break is over, and I can`t do it. I`m freaking. No not really. But I do want to read some books over the break. I also need to look into Bigger and Mom into Etsy because they both need to start selling their stuff. Mom and I also need to blog because Mom made me get a blog about etiquette. Because I`m so classy people. I know, you could tell.

               I was thinking about hockey players for a couple of days now (because I've been watching hockey, reading hockey crap and waiting for the Winter Classic), and I have a list I want to meet. I just thought I`d put it down because I keep forgetting which ones I want to meet.

1.      Sidney Crosby because it`s Sid and I just want to look at him, and got I have a huge crush on him! But don`t mention it to anyone)

2.      Jonathan Toews because I really want to tell him about a million jokes and see him smile because making Captain Serious smile would be like bringing an extinct species back to life. Or something less noteworthy. Whatever.

3.     Steven Stamkos so I can become his best friend and call him Steve, which really pisses him off, but he`ll be such good friends that I won`t notice.  

4.     Jared Staal because he`s the underrated Staal brother and I think he needs some attention. Not dirty attention you perverts. Geez.

5.     Alex Ovechkin just to see whether I could understand him. And I`d wanna hang out and play basketball or something, because it would just be interesting.

There are others, but that's all I can think of for now. Life is cool. Been watching That 70`s Show for the past week. It`s nice. I also watched Miracle. That was good too.  Man, I`m just a jabbering today aren`t I? Night peeps.

              

  

The Things I'm Doing Other Than Homework

So I haven't posted in months, so now I've made a rule that I'll post on every day I don't go to school. Therefore, I will post more often. Yay!

According to that rule, I should also have posted on Tuesday because I got suspended. I wish it was badass, but the punishment was for being late.

Right now, I'm supposed to be writing a four page essay on Timothy Findley's The Wars. Sounds fun eh? NOT!

I'm reading 55 books right now, and I need to read thirteen of them by the New Year or I don't get a badge on my Goodreads page. Ah, the little things in life.

Watching the second season of That 70's Show for about the third time.

Bored, with VIDEOS!

I was Googling George Carlin, because I was watching him on youtube and when I was examining the influenced, I notcied a man named Bill Hicks. Then George mentioned him, so I clicked on his link and found some videos. I likey. He's a little quiet, but it's cool. And yeah, I am this boring in life.

P.S. Biggest is down for a week. Suh-weet!! And I've read like six books in the past five days and I still need to write an essay that was due on Thursday. Oops.

I laugh exactly like he does. I know, freaked me out too. I have to go read other people's blogs now.

I Have Decided

First, I have decided that I will have a blog. My friend S. has been bugging and bugging me to get one so that we could follow each other.
Second, I will use spell check for this blog, unlike my school essay or my Facebook posts. It will be a grand and wonderful thing that will probably stop in about three posts. But hey, I can dream.
Thirdly, I will refrain from posting inappropriate comments or getting bummed when absolutely no one follows me. I will be very positive about my attempt to maintain (and make pretty) a blog for an extended period of time.
Unless, of course, exams begin and I have to waste my few free hours trying understand how balancing chemical formulas are going to be part of my plans for world domination. But hey, you never know. And I might make the honour roll. Or I could be a realist and admit all I'm hoping for is to pass.