Sunday, June 16, 2013

June 16

I've been focusing on music and tv lately. I quit my job in May, which was awesome and am not really searching for a new one. So I watch movies and listen to music. I've memorized the words to When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars and Pontoon by Big Little Town. And I do sing them better. Its nice to just sit upstairs and belt away my favourites and relax. Jesus, I am relaxed. don't get me wrong, I understand that I need a job, I need to help pay bills, start putting away for a house, need to finish up my high school and unattatch myself from my mother. But for today, and maybe even tomorrow, this is nice.
We have a tornado warning in effect, its storming every ten minutes but its nice. I adore stormy weather, so this is a little perfect. Two sisters just left after father's day dinner and the eldest is coming in July. My parents are still struggling with bills, I'm still in a slump, my grandmother is still manipulating and favouring all her other children over my mother, one of my sisters is still an asshole, but I'LL BE OKAY. I think that's what I have to remember, what I have to keep repeating. Is that I WILL get better and I WILL succeed. I need to do it for my mom and my dad and the sisters and to write all the books, and for me. I can't keep letting the depression kill me, stop letting it control my life and my actions. I need to write everyday, and I need to see my friends, and I need to read and I need a job. Geez, I'm exhausted. Talk to you later

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