Monday, June 24, 2013

Bathroom <- this is a horrible title. I'm very sorry

This will be TMI. Just so you know.

I have a very strong relationship with my bathroom. There are positive aspects, like showers and cleaning and fresh towels. I like all that. then they is the other side, the dark side, the one I don't talk about. The toilet wars.

Dun, dun, duh!

I don't eat wheat. No, scratch that, I don't eat wheat, or gluten or anything that has "whe" or malt in it. Except cheese. I eat the hell out of cheese. So, don't eat gluten. this means I don't eat breads or crackers, which would normally provide a large amount of fiber to my diet. So....no fiber. So when I go to the bathroom, that stuff shoots of out me. Unfortunately, that's not the end of this story.

I also eat food that isn't too great for me. for instance, cheese. See my relationship mentioned above? Yeah, I LOVE cheese. I like cheddar, feta, and brie. I like mozzarella, i like soft cheese, and hard cheese and the fake cheese that you buy for nachos and the fake cheese you sprinkle onto your pasta. Me likey cheese. Cheese likes me too. Cheese remains for a long time, if you get my drift. So I can spend a week or two going fiber-lite, with frequent bathroom breaks and all. Then I'll attack some cheese and not go forever. this is what has happened here. Not only do I suffer from eating only the slightest bit of gluten by getting instance bathroom visits (I live out of that bathroom, if you're getting me here) or I can spend the day reading trying to go to the bathroom from an attack of the Cheese. So, 30 degrees outside plus humidity, and I get to hang out in my bathroom trying not to explode and/or cry.

You are very welcome for the visual
Have a great day, and AVOID THE CHEESE.

Dun, dun Duh!!!!

Ha, I'm just kidding. go eat some cheese. Say some for me. I'm getting some feeling back in my legs.

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